It's time to blog about BYU - My first year of college is over.
What do I have to say about my experience? It was a good one. In talking to my mom the other day about everything under the sun and especially my life, I realized that the last year of school has been one of absolute learning. There were a few good times like when Whitney and I made a random wal-mart run, or when brandi and I exercised at 11:01 in the parking lot so that I wouldn't get my car booted, and when I went on various trips with my lacrosse friends or whitney would come to my house for sunday dinner, watching Jazz games no matter what pressing matters I had to do that night for school the next day, wasting time with Whitney while we worked, enjoying all of my roommates drama that I never had etc... but overall, it was hard.
It was hard to live in a room with a girl who had PT (personal training for ROTC) every morning at 5:45, and sometimes combinations of smells were not at all pleasant to live with (some having been caused by me I'm sure)... and coming home every night from school to the lights being off and her sleeping so I'd have to be super quiet etc. But... what did I learn from this?
*If this is all the problems you ever had with your roommate, you're super lucky, and look at it as more of a blessing.
School was always hard for me, from day one. I struggled getting into BYU, and the struggle for greatness in school has not ceased. First semester I had to learn how to deal with disappointment after disappointment with test grades. It felt like everyone around me was doing better then I was and that for sure I wouldn't make it through the year. But I held on, and learned SO much from my classes, especially the ones I loved like women's studies, nutrition, and aerobics. I had to learn that as long as I was trying my hardest in everything I did in school, somehow I would end out okay. It helped me to prepare for a much more stressful semester in the winter.
*Leaning on heavenly father for comfort is always okay. He's never gone. As Elder Benson (I believe) said many times, often God answers prayers through other people. God answered my prayers by giving me strong support systems in my family and friends and the opportunity to find a best friend on my floor who became like a sister to me through both of our struggles this year, and also my brother who was there for me every day, and I was there for him.
All my friends had boyfriends, and I hardly even dated this year. That is just the story of my life. You'd think I'd not let it get to me anymore, but it's harder when you've felt lonely for a long time and you see everyone around you happy in their relationships. But I've learned so much from observing them and helping them to get through trials in their relationships.
*My last post on love shows you what I've learned there. I've had time to find myself again, to be confident in my abilities and to learn more what I want for my future.
Dealing with life's changes is hard. Me having to live with the reality of what I am and who I am every day has been hard. I seemed to have lost my identity in the maze of over achieving driven kids that is BYU. I had to remember who I was and what made me unique, and I would go to bed every night questioning what the purpose was for me putting myself through all the hard times. I've hopefully figured it out now, and will be better next year about what I do with my days and befriending people.
Lacrosse was a huge highlight for me this year. I believe that without it I would not have come back for semester #2 at BYU. I think I would have moved out and gone to the U where people seem not to be so judgmental etc. Lacrosse was a perfect outlet for me, and a great way to meet friends. I learned how to improve every day my performance because I never knew what the coach is going to do, or what kind of respect I could get from teammates.
*This should be a lesson for life. We should always improve ourselves every day because our father in heaven will give us blessings, and others will see the changes and give us respect for making those changes.
The last life lesson that I learned from my first year of college was that it is okay to rely on people for help. It's okay to be sad, we all are sad lots of times in our lives. I have always tried to be a positive person. I try not to be dramatic or dwell on the negative things, but sometimes that gets hard and life gets you down. I had to learn that that was okay, and that a good cry every now and then is cathartic. I learned that people are always willing to listen if you give them the chance, especially people who love you like my mom who was ALWAYS there for me when I would go through a hard time or Kyle, who would give me encouragement or advice when I was feeling down. It's okay also to rely on your faith to get through trials and struggles. We are not yet as Job, and we must remember that God carries us through our hard times.
Thanks for being there as a support to me through reading my blog this past year. My blog has been the best thing for me to keep as sort of a journal/way to express my feelings and my insights. Loves. :)
P.S. This summer I will be a running machine (hence the picture) I tell you what, and I'm going to do weight watchers... any tips from past 'Weight Watchers' that I should know? :)
Jenn and me after our 1/2 marathon last august.
