A time for reflection

Katie and I with a Pirate in Lahaina. Awesome

Hawaii was amazing and relaxing and I'm sad to be back in the cold, but it gave me so much time to think through things that were important to figure out and to find myself again. As you know with having a really busy schedule it's hard to just sit and think for any length of time because you feel like you should be doing so much more.
During all my thinking time I thought a lot about who I want to become and what I want to do with my life... for real. I thought about becoming a mother eventually (a long ways away I'm sure) and with all the couples around I thought a lot about marriage. I know, it's retarded to even think about because I'm only 19... but in the culture I'm in down at BYU and with all these older married couples around me it was a hard subject to avoid. I know these things for sure. I want to experience the world. I want to live a life as a single person for as long as I can until the time is right to become seriously involved with someone and by this I mean that I need to take some time to experience volunteering and giving of myself to someone or something else (like humanitarian), I want to save up money, but also spend it doing great things with people that I love. My loving parents have giving me opportunities for growth and learning and because of that I have had the opportunity to even think about doing greater things in my life then school and sandy Ut etc. I learned while I was in Hawaii that we need to relish in the happy things and be loving to all those whom we can. I need to be less judgmental and more open with people and how I am feeling, feel etc etc. I need to strengthen my testimony in the Lord and in our Father in Heaven and the scriptures. Luckily for me, this means that I need to read and pray more earnestly because that's how you communicate with God. I have figured out my goals for 2010 and I'm finally ready (now that it's almost Feb. :) ) to accomplish them.
I'm sorry that that's just like a soliloquy of my thoughts from the week of rejuvenation, but it's nice to put it all out there. I keep thinking of this phrase... As Elder Holland said in a talk in 2005, my favorite talk ever, "Be good to yourself for you need you, the Lord needs you, the World needs you."

Here are some pictures of Hawaii!!

Me Kim and Katie... We're about to jump off that cliff! (Jacee couldn't come and Danielle left early.

Just a little beach shot

FATTA at HAWAII

My o my two days down 7 more to go and for real I feel like a hippo. It's wonderful. This is one reason why I love Hawaii... I get to sleep lots, eat, read and chilax just all the time and it really is great. I will work out lots when I get back because Whitney and I are going to train for the Salt Lake half marathon. O man, It'll be great so for now I'm going to eat a lot and just really enjoy myself. :) I will take lots of pictures for everyone of the awesome time I've been having here.

Actors lives are

A HOLE BUNCH OF CRAP

Okay, so I'm working out in the gym today, and I really wanted to watch the Jazz game, but no stations were playing it. So I settled for NCIS... which is never settling. Some of the better tv on tv. But also on the screens was playing the peoples choice awards. Okay. I decided after watching like 40 min of it (interspersed between NCIS of course) that all famous people (besides maybe keith urban and Sandra Bullock who I always love because they seem to be real and humble.) live in there own really really distorted world. They all looked way too good for their own good, and acted so 'humble' when they recieved their awards, but inside you know they're thinking... YEAH, i got that, I'm awesome, I'm beautiful, I'm the best... it's not cuz of god or my fans or cuz of my family, it's cuz I'm awesome. I kept looking at the screen then at the people I was surrounded by, and yes, some of the people working out in the gym have bodies and faces much like those of the famous people on choice awards, but really, we're all so 'mediocur/normal'.

So, I guess the point is that I'm really glad that I'm not one of those famous people on the screen living in their own fantasy world. Hollywood looks like such a fantacy world. Until you hear things like what happened to Brittany Murphy or Tiger Woods... they really don't love what they're doing or what their lives are. It's us true livers in the world that have it good. We get to love and live for real. We don't have people on our backs all the time watching our every move and exposing our every flaw.

The other insight I had yesterday and a little today, is that life is what you make it. HAHAHAH CLICHE to the max, but really, it is. You got to be happy with who you are, and looking back you'll never ever be ashamed or mad about that.

Happy new semester and winter --> spring time everyone. Take strength courage and wisdom. It's bomb.

O ps. My list of top 5 best TV shows on TV this winter.

1.) Ugly Betty (YOU KNOW IT... I've had this thing for this show for a few years. Maybe it's because I can relate to and learn from America Fararra's character in that she struggles for everything, but somehow is positive through all the poopy things that happen to her... And the love stuff that goes on in this show makes it great. )

2.) Community (This show is hilarious. I love it more probably because I'm in college, but still it cracks me up in random ways and it's good watching. Pretty stinking clean too)

3.) White Collar (This is one of my new found loves, and actually a new found love of my families. It's about an ex con who gets out of jail to help the feds catch the bad guys while he searches for his lost lover. Um good... and FREAK the main character is ATTRACTIVE.)

4.) Psych (hilarious. lol funny. just good stuff.)

5.) NCIS (my family is going to laugh because I've always complained about this show. I just decided I really do like it... it seems to always be on, and it's never disappointing. I like that in a show.)