The one that stuck

So... this week it happened. Jeff Handy left on his mission... for two years I wont be able to see him! I had to say goodbye to him on monday night... And who knew how hard it would be for me. It seems that I just haven't been able to get that boy off my mind since we dated a year ago. I just felt like we were always off and that I was just letting time and things pass through my fingers. He's one of my best buddies and I'm going to miss being able to talk to him and take him places with me like church stuff or date stuff. Even after we broke up it was never awkward enough between us to not be friends. When we said goodbye this last week I just went right up to him and gave him a big bear hug and we just talked about life for a little while like nothin was up... then it came to be about an hour longer then I thought and I needed to let him be with his family. He walked me out to my car for one last time and gave me another big bear hug... I looked up at him and said good luck and write me every week etc. etc. and we shed some tears and walked away waving until we couldn't see each other any more. I think on his fun personality often and I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers and letters while he is gone... His family is so cute... they feel like a part of my family and we just all are supporting each other. They even brought me a back to school present! Isn't that awesome? I had it easier then they did obviously.. but also because I went to bear lake with Brandi and Lindley from wednesday till friday.

O man it was one of the top 5 most fun things i've done this summer. I have had a really good time vacationing and being with people etc. but I really enjoyed this because we haven't been together the three of us since like my junior year, so it was SO nice to be able to spend some time in each others company just talking and laughing together like no time had passed at all. We caught up on what was going on with each person and laughed so much! We laid out, we played lacrosse, we played on the jet ski's (which was the best part and a surprise from Monet.... :)) While we were on the jet ski's we decided it would be awesome if all three of us road the smaller one together... so we did and we flung each other of so much just because the last person would get thrown around so much so they would pull the others off... so cool. We also ate lots, watched a few movies, read stuff, and of course went boating. It was so fun to go boating and actually be able to do stuff! This is just proof to you all and to myself that I don't completely suck at wake boarding or wake surfing... fun stuff! Well that's about it... life starts for me again with school and lacrosse etc. in a week! Scary!!! But man I'm so excited. It's like a new start and I have so much hope for the year and what it will bring me. :) So next up? College time with Whitney and co. :) saweet

Grandma Clayton

This is my wonderful, beautiful, hardworking, and amazing grandmother Farrell Clayton.  She passed away on Tuesday the 4th of August peacefully in her sleep.  We are all deeply saddened by this occurrence, but she will live on in our hearts forever.  She taught me personally the importance of being a strong and devout woman.  She invested in education, and stressed the importance of getting a degree because of the uncertainty of the future.  She appreciated music more then anyone I have known, and encouraged us all to practice our talents. She would be ashamed if we let a moment pass by us in which we could share those talents with others.  She taught and raised my amazing father to be the wonderful man that he is today.  She encouraged him to take art lessons, piano, clarinet, bass guitar, sing, take debate, and so many other disciplines in life that have shaped his whole being, and by default, my families.  She always encouraged healthy eating and living a healthy lifestyle.  I remember going over to her house and the first thing she would offer us was either grapes (washed with soap :)), watermelon (freshly cut), toast (with spray butter...), chicken noodle soup, or chocolate frozen yogurt. (the woman loved her ice cream).  She loved her family more then anything in the world, and was always so proud of us no matter what the circumstance.  

I will miss all these things about my grandmother, but I will never forget her legacy.  She left me a lot of things to live up to, and I want in every moment to make her proud.  

Thank you Grandma for all you did for us, and for your continual support and love for each of us.  We love you!  I will miss you. 

It's not too often...

...that I find myself absolutely grateful for my life!  I mean, I've always been appreciative of opportunities and blessings, but not really for life!  I'm always down on myself for my body, or what I've been eating, or why things with friends seem off or whatever else vain you could think of because I am more then a tad selfish... but this last weekend I have found myself so so excited for the future.   

     This summer has been one of hope and excitement for me future.  I've been working in the hospital trying to figure out what it is that I want to do with the rest of my life... right... o man, it's a hard decision.  I remember when Katie was thinking about what to major in and what school to go to etc. she took so long to figure it out, and I would always say to her, 'why can't you just pray about it and understand what it is that you want to do... it's not that hard Katie... come on...' etc etc.  I always thought that I would be a nutrition major... but not anymore (as you all know...)  I've often thought about becoming a nurse... I love teenagers... I love their attitudes and their excitements.  I've always connected well with them and been able somehow, to tell them what they need to hear (even though it's usually for myself just as much as it is for them ha ha...)  So what do I choose?  I know I'll do health... but do I want to do health education? (where I could teach health, coach a team, teach aerobics...)  or exercise and something? (in which I would become a trainer or go on to med school something)  Health promotion? (in which I would travel and help people become educated)  So many options.  Now what to do???  (advice accepted here...)  I think that health education feels the most right for me, but I love input! 

     I've also learned this summer that good friendships are so so important to me.  It is a unique thing to have someone in your life in whom you can trust with anything (outside your family)... but I'm ultra lucky!!! I have more then one person that I can go to.  God blessed me with knowing these people because he knew that I wouldn't be able to handle this time of my life without them.  (you know who you are. :))

    And possibly the last thing i've learned this summer is how important sundays and sunday meetings and church and the gospel is.  I have not been to church very much, and when I have gone, i've missed a lot of the hours in sunday school and relief society.  I feel such a difference in my week and in my life in general when I don't attend all of my church meetings, or any of church at all.  I love my father in heaven, and I regret the decision to take a job that had me work on sundays, but it also has taught me this lesson, and the ones written before it.

    So anyways... I want to say yet again, thank you.  I am so happy and beaming inside right now because of what I can do with my life and the lives that I hope to change.  Thanks to each of you for helping to shape me and to be willing to let me be a part of your lives.  Please don't quit.  I have SO much more to learn and I never want to stop.  I'm still standing on the edge looking out into a very expansive future... and I can do whatever I want with it. 

Now that is awesome.

And believe me when I say, 

I have hope.