Take some time...

to think about this picture. What comes to mind about the beauty of the moment, and the feelings she may be feeling and reminded of when she's smelling the rose?? Think of love... in all the forms you know to be true... (Now make sure that "I want a love that will last" by Renee Olstead is playing while you read this... :))

I have been pondering a lot today about my life and what I want of it.  Yes, I ponder a lot because I have a lot of time to myself.  My closest friends have boyfriends, people are getting

 engaged left and right, and of course, I'm at BYU so I can't get away from COUPLES... gross byu couples.  But anyway, I love these boyfriends of my friends, and I know that the people I know who are getting engaged are happily in love, but I have wondered what my deal is. I'm not complaining now mind you, I'm just figuring things out.  Like for example, there are many different kinds of love.  Let me elaborate about this a little and express to you things that I have learned about love. (so minimal, but still... :)) 

1.) I have a love of learning from everything I experience.  If that hasn't been apparent in this blog, then now you know, I like to experience things that will help me grow and develop personally so that I can be the best version of myself.  (ex: when I don't go along with invitations to hang out because I have 'things' to do, I usually end up disappointed in my night, so I have learned to go with those opportunities and try to enjoy them as much as i can... little thing to make a difference... ) 

2.) Love for family.  Yeah, this is a given having gone away from home and living away from a natural reach of my parents and siblings.  I have a great love for how much my parents do for me, and for how they raised me.  I have noticed many times throughout the semester what my parents have taught me to keep me strong and independent and not reliable on others for my happiness (if that make sense).  It helps me to recognize when my attitude needs to change, and notice when some sort of external force is working on me and getting into my brain, that makes me be unhappy.  

3.) Love for friends.  This one's kinda personal... I have a great love for GOOD friends.  People who don't leave your side, and people who you don't want to leave yours.  I have learned so much from my friends this year.  Brandi has taught me patience and acceptance.  Brandi works so hard at being open to life's challenges, and I've never seen her get upset at a problem that faces her, she has such a great attitude about it.  I've admired that so much this year, and have grown so much from it.  Whitney has the kindest heart.  I've seen it on so many different occasions; how much she cares for friends who she's hardly seen or kept in contact with, her love for her special needs friends, her great relationship with her parents and her man Ryan, and with me. She's always the first to say hello or notice how I'm doing and ask how my day is.  I've grown up from being around her and have learned to be more kind and understanding of people.  Lindley has taught me a different kind of patience... a patience that comes through hardship and trials.  I admire how well she's kept herself together and how beautiful you can tell she is from every angle.  Anna teaches me something new every time i see her or hear about her.  She knows how to live life to the fullest every day, and take every opportunity she can to be happy.  I've always admired how happy and positive she stays, and how her application of what she's learned through studies of humanities has opened her creative energies so much and given her the opportunity to grow and develop her life.  Ness teaches me to smile and laugh at myself.  We've had similar experiences this year and we've both had opportunities to grow as people.  It's been nice to have her to talk to and to lean on for help even though she's so far away. There are so many more people who i love deeply as great friends, and all my family members would take way to long to mention... I love them and have grown more from them then from any other persons. 

4.) Love for my father in heaven and his son Jesus Christ.  I don't see how people could go through college without the knowledge that there is a God, and that with him all things will be okay.  My humanities teacher put it this way.  "Life, is chaotic, but there is a person who is in control of the chaos".  The interesting thing about this is that we were talking about existentialism and how they don't believe that there is a God, they believe in the notion 'I think therefore I am'.  You decide your destiny, but there is always someone in control... and I'm so glad that I know that there is a father in heaven who is in control of my life even when I make it a messy/crazy one.  

5.) Romantic love... A love once lost will not be the same again, but can grow other kinds of love.  I fully believe in romantic love.  I see it everyday, and help people face their romantic love problems the majority of the time. (I sort of live vicariously through my advice to them and their stories he he) I know that romantic love is hard, but it should have inside it all the different loves to make it an all encompacing truth that you live by.  I believe that romantic love will happen to me again someday.  Probably when I least expect it.  I miss the joy and the feelings of having someone love you and care about you who is a man.. ha ha! :) But for now i'm very content with life.  I just need the components of romantic love, not the crazyness of a man and romantic love ha ha ha... anyway...   

All this leads to one deepest of thoughts... 

Love (like life) is what you make it.

I'm going to be better.. I just want everyone and myself to know that I'm changing, and that I'm very in love with life.  :)