Today, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by both parts of the road runner.
I've been so busy since january, it's been a whirlwind of activities. I was busy with school (homework and studying), family (birthdays and sunday dinners etc.), dating (surprisingly a lot my second semester, but to no avail... no one i've really been interested in), and especially lacrosse. This years lacrosse season was a whirlwind of it's own. I've been back and forth so many times about what i want to do with lacrosse next year because of various experiences this year with coaches, fundraising, comments from team members and limited playing time in practice and games. But... after this last week I know I need to play again next year. We went to the national tournament in Scottsdale AZ
It was a great opportunity to be with the team and learn a lot about what lacrosse can be for my team. We have so much to improve on next year, and i will be more of a leader then an underdog (hopefully) so I think I'll enjoy it more. Plus, I get to be around girls who are so much fun and great friends, and be physically active, and also to be able to travel around places. It's so unique, and it is a big part of who i am. I don't think I'd be content with giving it up. Thanks to mom and dad for their support of me throughout all my crazy decisions. Also thanks Katie and Karin for coming to AZ to support the team and me. You're the best. :)
Anyways, School started up again last week and I'm stressed which i shouldn't have to be, but i am because it's a 7 week semester with only 3 class periods and already I have midterms. I just wonder... why don't I ever take it easy? Usually it just makes me stressed and not as happy as I possibly could be. O well...
As far as the dust part, lately I've been feeling like I'm getting left behind in the dust of what everyone else is doing. People are going on to bigger and better things, and what am I doing? I feel as if I'm again in limbo... a hard place to be in that I remember being in my senior year around this time. I'm just so unsure of everything, while it seems as if everyone around me is sure of everything. I KNOW THIS isn't the case, but sometimes it feels that way. I think if I lived around a different culture then mormons and BYU i'd feel differently. I'd feel more normal about just working and hanging out all summer instead of planning for a mission, wedding, or internship somewhere. I KNOW I have an amazing life, I just wish I could have my crystal ball today and not have to wait till heaven to see into it.
No worries, I'll be over all this by morning, but it feels good to get it off my mind.
3 comments:
Love ya girlie. Listen to the song I just posted on my bloggie. Instant cheerup :)
You are always questioning everything. You need to stop and smell the roses and "shift into neutral" for a while. The Spirit speaks to us when we are pondering and calm and peaceful. You are so young! Don't pass by all the joyous opportunities you have now to live the life of a beautiful, single girl! God will bless you with every needful thing. Have faith, and be patient. "All these things shall give thee experience, and will be for thy good..." Love you!
Girl, you're right. What you're doing is just normal. It is a transitional stage of life and will feel that way for the next 5-10 years, so don't let it freak you out! Also, be grateful that you have some direction and motivation in your life. You will be far more successful than most other girls your age. ENJOY this time of life... it is fun and some day, you'll miss it.
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