When Life Hands You Lemons...

Oh man. How the world changes in just a month. This last month (in fact almost to the day since I last blogged) has been soo interesting. It has been completely out of my control, and I have built up a testimony that our Father in Heaven has a completely different plan for us than we do for ourselves, and that plan is SO good. Much better than we could have imagined for ourselves. Let me tell you a few reasons why.

First thing that happened to me was that a boy I was dating and I broke up last month, a few days after the last post (March 16th I believe?)... and I was sad for a night, HOWEVER the next day I was totally fine, and have been totally fine since. I have just been so grateful for the lessons learned, and for the relationship that we were able to have (even though it was just a month). I learned how to really enjoy myself in a relationship, and how to make time to spend with someone. I had so much fun, and I am grateful for the testimony it brought to me that I can have a good and fun relationship with someone. One month was the perfect amount of time too, it wouldn't have lasted much longer than that anyways. ;)

So after this, maybe a week later, I lost my job with CORA USA. I have been working with this company for a little over a year, and it has been such a convenient, though often times awful, job. I was upset that I wouldn't have a job through the summer until the Fall, and of course, getting cut off from any income is not cool. However, the job was kind to me and they let me have 3 weeks additional pay for having to let me go. The company is not making money, and so they had to let go of the part time employees. HOWEVER, I have been surprised by then at how busy I have actually been! I was worried that I wouldn't have anything to do with my time, but it has been the opposite where I feel like I still don't have enough time to get done what I need to. I have been able to attend my favorite classes at the gym again, and I feel so much better knowing that I can attend those! So blessings in disguise from that lame surprise.

I have been spending the last few months interviewing for internships for the 2012-2013 school year at a few middle schools. My first one was in Springville, the second in Payson, and the last in Sandy. I did not get the first two jobs, which made me discouraged a little bit, and nervous about where I would be living in the fall. I thought with those other positions that I would be just fine living in Provo, and was about to sign a contract for a really nice apartment right behind the current house that I am living in. HOWEVER, it never felt quite right... So I went forward. I interviewed at Union middle school in Sandy, and I got the position! I will be working there teaching 6 classes of Health and one class of Study Skills every single day. It is going to be so incredible, extremely difficult, and different from anything I ever expected. With this change means that I will be moving back to Sandy in my parent's house with Katie, Kyle, Ashley and baby Amy. What the what? Moving back home already? Am I ready for that? It scares me, but I am so excited for the opportunity to teach full time for a year, and be able to establish my teaching style etc. Bring on the year of the bobcats. :)

I am loosing all of the roommates that I have known for the last three years. They all got married or are traveling the world this summer, and will not be back in the Fall! So Weird! So that is going to be a new challenge and an exciting change for me. I will be living with Brandi, and some other girls that are so cute. But it has been a weird feeling for me to see my friends moving on, and feeling in ways that I have made decisions that are not enabling me to move forward like them. HOWEVER, I know that god's timing is different than mine, and I believe in him, so I believe in the timing thing...

I got a new calling, which I have not been set apart for yet, so I won't mention here, but it will be an interesting change for me, and that is definitely something that I do not feel qualified or ready for. HOWEVER I know that "whom the lord calls he qualifies" so I am excited to reach my potential there, and have opportunities to be reliant on the Lord more often.

Last thing is that in the last few weeks I have been nervous about where I am going to live, what I am going to do for a job in the in-term between now and my internship, and nervous about having to live off of my savings account... And last night I got towed from an apartment complex and it cost a whopping $175!!!!!! To tow me from an apartment complex to literally the building next door. I can't afford that... what with not having a job and all that... the guy who towed me even asked, "Will you be paying cash or credit for this..." Yeah. Cash buddy, since I have just 200 dollars lying around like it is nothing... I hate provo and parking in provo!!! It just made me feel like, "really? really? I needed this to happen too? What kind of lesson is it going to teach me???"

Well... Let me tell you the lessons I have learned.

Sometimes I feel discouraged over what has happened, what is, and what could be. I find myself comparing myself to others, feeling lost and alone, and thinking "why me?". This last month, and really this last year, has been full of SO many challenges that I didn't expect. Sometimes I just cry thinking about it all... They have been minor in nature, but when they all seem to happen at the same time, it makes me question why. HOWEVER, I believe that they have been in my life to humble me, and bring me closer to my family and most especially my Savior Jesus Christ. I have learned that I am NEVER alone, and that my crap would be so much worse if it weren't for my Savior. "Show unto me your weaknesses and I will make them strong"... I want to be strong. I want to be strong in my faith and testimony... and this is a way in which to make me that way! One of my favorite scriptures is in Matt. 11 vs. 28-30 (mentioned often in conference) that says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light". I am ready to find rest into my soul. And I know that with God all things are possible. I really feel like this is the reason for challenges. The lord experienced the atonement and descended below all things in order to rise above it all. It is when we are at our lowest points that we often turn the most fervently to the Lord to help us through our challenges, and help us to rise above it all. How incredible the atonement is, and how grateful I am for the healing power of it.

So. When Life Hands You Lemons... Get on your knees, suck it up, and then make lemonade. :)

I can do hard things.

Where did February go?

Oh, Hello blog. It's been a while. Life has been crazy, and I have been traveling like a fiend. I am home for a while now though... so lets blog.

February started out well! My sisters and I went to San Diego the first weekend of Feb. to visit my parents and that was such a good time! I had so much fun just chatting it up with the sisters and enjoying a good girl time. I was definitely in need of that, and to be with my Mom and Dad is always so nice. I miss them! Here are some photos (courtesy of Danielle) from the trip. We basically just ate a lot of food, talked, and when shopping for hours.

After that was Valentines day and I had some good experiences with that for one of the first times in a while. My date picked me up at my house and showed up in a nice sport jacket with a pretty pink rose... needless to say, he's charming.

A few weeks later I traveled up to boise with my lacrosse girls (UVU). We had our first tournament up there and it was a blast. The girls surprised our expectations, and we just laughed and played together. They won their first game, and with just 12 girls, they really held their own throughout all four games. I couldn't be more proud! We have 14 games ahead of us, with 5 next week... wish us luck!!

Probably the most exciting thing that's happened so far though is that my best buddy Whitney Neilsen got married this last weekend (on March 9th). It was BEAUTIFUL and Perfect, and wonderful and I couldn't be more excited for the two of them. Here are some photo's from their wedding...

I got to spend a few extra days and moments with Whitney while in MO... It was SO nice to just be able to spend time together and talk and be excited for the big day. I miss these days!

Whitney bought us the cutest outfits as her bridesmaids... we felt like 100 bucks, and they look pretty legit in the photos etc. as well. Well done whit! Isn't that a pretty temple? Winter Quarters.

They did it!!! I was so emotional and excited for them. What an amazing day.

We look good right???

I love Whitney's parents... They're so amazing, and feel like my second parents. It was so great to be with Whitney's family this weekend, and Ryans. I have grown to love them all throughout the years.

These obvi aren't from the wedding, but these are the UVU women's lax girls! They're great eh?

School's been a little different for me this year. I have really been struggling to get myself motivated, and have had to resign from a class in order to just keep on top of everything. I am grateful to be at BYU but lately, I just feel like I have been there, done that over, and over, and over again.

I am getting back into my running days. Today was a beautiful 68 degree's outside, and I took full advantage of going on a nice long run through the neighborhoods of Provo. There is just nothing quite like that feeling of being on a good run. It made me excited to train for a half marathon again, and a Marathon for the first time.

Life is just good. I think that God is blessing me endlessly, and I am so grateful for him. I am grateful for my parents and their amazing example. They help me to be better and to want to succeed at life. Thank you both for all you do, and for your support and faith in me. And for these flowers... You're the best.

Jazz vs. Kings game

So the coolest thing happened to me last Tuesday. I was just hanging out with my friends at our apartment, and didn't think much about checking my e-mail until about 12:00 a.m. right before I got into bed. Well... within that e-mail was 2 free tickets to the Jazz vs. Kings game that was last Saturday (the 28th). I entered my name in a drawing and ended up winning tickets on the 19th row lower bowl!! Isn't it awesome? Here are some pics from the night. Oh, and we won, and Jimmer Fredett actually had a good night... except he needs to learn that he isn't playing college ball anymore... But when he does, he's gonna be good.

Kyle and I... plus the random smiling man behind us... ;)

Just my boys.

Oh hey Jimmer!

Snow Times! Winter semester is lookin like it is gonna be a good time.

So. Snow. That is the epitome of what my week has been like. We have had a lot of snow in P town, and it is so beautiful. I love walking up to campus with the snow capped mountains... I also love coming out of my Art History class (contemporary art with my Study abroad director) and looking at the mountains while the sun sets.... There is basically nothing better! The last few weeks Heather and I have been trying to do something fun/random every night of the week. We started last Sunday with this awesome fort! (Pictured below). Heather's little niece (she's 9) came and spent the holiday weekend with us, and we thought, what would be better than watching a movie in a fort?? So we made the most comfy fort... it was so Fun! Monday we went on a random outside run and some pilates that turned into a par-core party with a good friend of ours in the ward. We participated in a few Sonic runs, and volleyball games, or just games, diddy kong, and pulling a few pranks on the neighbors... (They started it with a horse leg that they left on our porch... Heather freaked out!)

Our sweet Fort. (Heather's neice, Heather, and me wearing the MOST comfy jacket a friend of ours left at our house. He came over to get it, and I was wearing it! Talk about embarrassing.)

Last night we decided it would be a good idea to play in the newly fallen snow! We spent about 2 hours outside after an hour of playing basketball handing out in the snow. We had 3 separate snowball fights, and then made this little snowman guy. I think he looks great and ready for a cold run. ;) Our neighbor (Doug) is an advertiser or something for the Utah Valley Marathon. Cute eh? (Heather, me, Ryan and Doug)

Speaking of Marathons. I am definitely doing one!!! I am in for the Provo Marathon that is on the 5th of May. I am nervous, but I know I will be able to do it!! Jeff Handy, Jeff Perry, my roommate Heather, and Adam are all on board to do it too... It's gonna be awesome.

SO life is good. I have been feeling so blessed to have a strong family, awesome roommates, and good friends surrounding me. It has been a fun and super busy 3 weeks, but they've been so great!!! Here's to our next adventure... Sundance maybe? ?

New Year! 2012

Happy 2012! I can't believe it. I am so excited for a fresh start, and a new load of classes. It is going to be a tough and very busy semester, but what is new... ;). I was reading the 1st presidency message yesterday by President Monson, and came across this quote. As I read it I thought, this is going to be my motto for the year...

"Have the determination to make the effort, the single mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come, but also to make a second effort should such be required. Sometimes courage is the voice that says, "i'll try again tomorrow."

I love the Church! I am so grateful for simple, positive, and encouraging statements like these... and we get them ALL THE TIME. With church publications, the scriptures, and even in good conversations with friends. It is awesome.

Here are some photos from my trip to San Diego for Christmas with my parents and some siblings. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera charged for the trip, so I just have these Iphone photos ha.

Dad made the Ham into a little Christmas pig... So silly that man. But cute pig. ;)

On Christmas eve we decided to take a little trip to La Jolla to see the temple. Kyle and Ashley (pictured in front of the manger scene) hadn't seen it before, and so we went! It was a perfect kick off to what was a very different, but yet really memorable Christmas. Isn't the San Diego temple so beautiful???

Kim and Spencer and their family joined us for the second week of our adventure. We went to in and out one day and I got to sit by Andrew and the Spencers. He kept posing for the photos with his cute little hat. He also fed me my fries... It was very endearing, and we had a blast.

I had to work at 6:00 a.m. a few mornings, but I was grateful because I got to see the sunrise...

And the sunset out my parents backyard. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL!!! Take me back! ;)

Sometimes you just have to Laugh

I have been finishing a final about mind/body/spirit health today. The topics discussed included Marriage, divorce, unhappy marriage, benefits of Altruism, social connectedness, forgiveness and humor/laughter. I read in this book something that really struck me. It deals with forgiveness.

"Steps to Living a life of Forgiveness"

- Begin by letting go of your unforgiving stance.

- Admit that the events and feelings you are struggling with really happened.

- Admit that the past cannot be undone. After all, there is really no hope for a better yesterday.

- Recognize that you no longer need to depend on others, including your parents, for approval. When you realize your independence, you assume your rightful power, and you learn to be who you want to be regardless of the actions of others.

- Don't expect others to respond to your efforts to forgive.

- Release any unrealistic expectations of yourself.

- Accept others for who they are rather than who you want them to be.

- Be flexible about rules of conduct for yourself and others.

- Talk about issues as they come up.

As I reflect on my life in the last semester, I think that this was the ultimate lesson I was supposed to learn. It has been a really tough semester. I have made tough decisions, been pulled and stretched in every direction, and have learned a lot about growing up. I have had a lot of disappointments, hardships, and trials. But I have had a lot of blessings. I hope that I'll look back on this semester one day and realize why things happened the way they have happened for me. I feel like often times the hardest part about moving on, is learning how to forgive. Forgive for what could have been that wasn't, or how you feel life could have been, but it wasn't. I love the third bullet of this list, "Recognize that you no longer need to depend on others, including your parents, for approval. When you realize your independence, you assume your rightful power, and you learn to be who you want to be regardless of the actions of others." What a great lesson for me to learn. I recognize now that I am much too dependent on others for encouragement, and approval. It makes me sad to think that I had to learn this late in college life. Could have been helpful before.

As I see it though, it is so much better to just accept, move on, and try to find the joy in the journey. Sometimes, you just have to laugh and realize, it will one day be joyus to me because of the lessons learned through that trial. I pray I will be able to take the perspectives learned from this class, Mind/Body/Spirit health into my daily life.

Good luck to us all with Finals, and the holiday season fast approaching us!!!

To my mama!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

This post is for my mama! She is another year older today. And she really is just getting more and more wise. Oh how I love this lady!!!!!! She is my best friend and I am so grateful to have come to this family. If we picked our families in heaven, I am so glad I picked her and my Dad. I hope that everything was perfect on your birthday mom! Thanks for being my best friend and my best example. Keep up your hard work! I am so proud of you.

Nov. 4th and 5th

Friday I was grateful for being busy at work because it helped me to get through the long almost 9 hour work day. I was also grateful for my volleyball game, which was super fun, and helped to fix the small back pain that I was having this week.

Today, I am grateful for my slippers! They are keeping my little toesies warm while I do my homework in our starting to get freezing house. (the walls aren't insulated... ;( ). I am also grateful for old friends and new friends who help me to feel like a child inside when I need it. :)