The Simplicity of My Life

Sometimes I pause and reflect on 'my life'. And by sometimes I mean all the time. Most of the time I am content with where I am. I think that the Lord blessed me with a spirit of contentedness. I don't typically question the gospel, where I am in life, or what I'm doing with it... maybe because I have faith in the plan... but it all just seems to be fine. But as I was looking through pictures on FB today... I felt this tinge of regret. Regret that I did not have the guts to apply all the way for the New Zealand study abroad, or that I was too slow to get into the Europe one. Regret that I live at home this summer, instead of living away and making friends and having 'my own life' separate from the one I'm in etc. etc.

Well... after the regret came the Gratefulness. Grateful that I AM in this place today. Grateful that I have the gospel, which gives me hope in the future. Grateful for my working body, and loving family. Grateful for my friends who bring a lot of joy to my life.

See.

I lead a really simple life. I have a job (or 3 depending on the week), an AWESOME bed to sleep on with a loving family around me to support me. Sure, I'm not having the adventures that some of my friends are having, but I am having my own little adventure.

I'm getting to know my mother's life better... the kind of p a i n, worry, and love she feels for all of us children. I am learning how much work goes into being a full time mother, friend, sister, and wife. I am learning how to organize better then ever before, and I am learning most especially to LOVE. Love everyone, and love deeply. Care. Try. Work.

You know, I always say this, but I just KNOW that life is about learning. Learning who you are, what you want to do, how you can overcome obstacles and be that much better.

Contentedness is a feeling quite desired. I am so grateful that currently, I am content. And Happy

Return Missionary Friends

Return Missionary friends. Interesting people and different people in a good way... but... it is still weird sometimes to integrate our lives together. I can only imagine what integrating a relationship with one of them would be like. I am so glad though that these boys get to serve missions (and soon I'll have girl friends serving missions who are home). Anyways, they learn so much and get to be enveloped in a wonderful culture of the spirit 24/7. Living like that seems impossible, but not when you are on an LDS mission. It is such a blessing for every aspect of their lives, and the people who's lives they touch. The last missionary buddy of my friends that were a year older then me comes home on Tuesday. It is crazy to think how quickly time has gone by. I'm excited though to have all of us back together again and see what is in all of our futures.

For the last few days we have been moving Paul and Danielle into their home in Mt. Green in the Ogden area. Their house is super nice, and it is very exciting the stage of life that they are in. Paul is a legitiamate doctor with his name on a sign and everything. (Pictures to come later). It is super exciting to see him really begin his life's work... And they couldn't be more pleased with the road that has taken them to where they are right now in Mt. Green. So I want to say a huge CONGRATS to Paul and Danielle Family. You guys are super people and wonderful examples to me. Love you and GOOD LUCK in your new place and job. :)

Facebook... Can we as a society ever escape it?

So I walk into the library to print off a paper for my next class, and I decide to take a look at what other people are doing on their computers. Facebook. Of course. What else would a hard working BYU student be doing? As many of you know, I am re-taking American heritage and because of this, I am gaining again so much more insight into why people do the things they do. Why do I blog? Because for me, it is a social outlet and a way to organize my thoughts. Maybe this is why people become obsessed with FB. I thankfully am not, and don't intend on ever being obsessed. If it werent for my out of state friends, I would drop my facebook page in a second. Everyone says they don't love facebook, but secretly you do. You love to look at people's pictures and creep on their status and friends. Secretly you can't wait for a moment where you can change your status to what 'amazing' thing happened to you. My personal and honest opinion on the subject? The world has gotten too technologically dependent for everything from going to the bathroom to having relationships with people. I am perplexed by how quickly society accepts new technology and can't seem to find a way to live without it. I'm glad I have facebook because my best friends are on there and I can see what they are up to. I love having pictures from trips when I forget my camera or whatever. But as far as actual socalizing goes? I could definitely live without it, and I believe we should try to as a society. Now... I'm curious to know what your opinions are on the subject of facebook.... :)

Certifiable Gleek

So remember how my favorite T.V. show was "Ugly Betty"? Well. The reason for this (disclosed with much more information in a previous post) is because Betty defied the odds that were against her and pretty much never forgot who she was and what her potential was. She stuck up for her family values and was always a friend to other people before she even though about herself. Now, the show had some twisted ideas of what values are... but the central character of Betty was my favorite part.

Now tragically this show has ended for good, and so on my quest for another show to love, I stumbled again on Glee. Now. THIS show has next to no morals for kids in high school, or anyone else for that matter. The characters are sexually driven in a lot of instances. And even though I am embarassed to put this but out there, there's a but. But the central theme of the show is to be yourself, no matter what other people may tell you to be. Okay okay, this theme has been beaten like a dead horse in so many of the sicoms etc. out there on t.v. but glee has extra power in it. This extra power comes from music. The music in this show is INCREDIBLE. Now, i am pretty picky about what I call amazing music, but glee for some reason just literally sings to my soul. The songs are so full of power and drive... and these kids are MY age. So, let me sum it up for you. Watch this show if only for the music they sing. It is making me wish I could go back to high school and really be into Madrigals for the experience it was. I always wanted to do show choir, so this show in essence is a time for me to re-live a little bit the joy I got from singing in high school. Okay, ode done. Enjoy!!

Interesting times

Oh blogging world. What interesting times we live in. What interesting struggles we have. Do you believe we hand picked some of these struggles? In a sense, we did... because we chose to choose the things we chose. I am choosing tonight to change some things. I really need to. I've felt peace about this decision. I'm excited to implement it. I am going to be better about so many things... with you all as my witnesses I commit to being a better member of the church through regularly attending institute, church meetings (mentally attending them not just physically ha), reading my scriptures, and praying. I also need to get a handle on my self control. I'm slowly becoming one of my worst fears... and I don't like bad dreams, so I'm going to stop them from coming true. Here's to taking down the bad guys today and fighting for a brighter tomorrow. :)

Road Runner

I think the cartoon animal that is most like me is the road runner.... A, because of his speed in going everywhere and B because of the dust that he leaves behind him.

Today, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by both parts of the road runner.

I've been so busy since january, it's been a whirlwind of activities. I was busy with school (homework and studying), family (birthdays and sunday dinners etc.), dating (surprisingly a lot my second semester, but to no avail... no one i've really been interested in), and especially lacrosse. This years lacrosse season was a whirlwind of it's own. I've been back and forth so many times about what i want to do with lacrosse next year because of various experiences this year with coaches, fundraising, comments from team members and limited playing time in practice and games. But... after this last week I know I need to play again next year. We went to the national tournament in Scottsdale AZ

It was a great opportunity to be with the team and learn a lot about what lacrosse can be for my team. We have so much to improve on next year, and i will be more of a leader then an underdog (hopefully) so I think I'll enjoy it more. Plus, I get to be around girls who are so much fun and great friends, and be physically active, and also to be able to travel around places. It's so unique, and it is a big part of who i am. I don't think I'd be content with giving it up. Thanks to mom and dad for their support of me throughout all my crazy decisions. Also thanks Katie and Karin for coming to AZ to support the team and me. You're the best. :)

Anyways, School started up again last week and I'm stressed which i shouldn't have to be, but i am because it's a 7 week semester with only 3 class periods and already I have midterms. I just wonder... why don't I ever take it easy? Usually it just makes me stressed and not as happy as I possibly could be. O well...

As far as the dust part, lately I've been feeling like I'm getting left behind in the dust of what everyone else is doing. People are going on to bigger and better things, and what am I doing? I feel as if I'm again in limbo... a hard place to be in that I remember being in my senior year around this time. I'm just so unsure of everything, while it seems as if everyone around me is sure of everything. I KNOW THIS isn't the case, but sometimes it feels that way. I think if I lived around a different culture then mormons and BYU i'd feel differently. I'd feel more normal about just working and hanging out all summer instead of planning for a mission, wedding, or internship somewhere. I KNOW I have an amazing life, I just wish I could have my crystal ball today and not have to wait till heaven to see into it.

No worries, I'll be over all this by morning, but it feels good to get it off my mind.

DONE!!!!!

Ah, what a fantastic feeling. No more homework or tests for...

a week because I'm doing spring semester. I'm retarded. ha!

O well! I will still celebrate!

Catch - Up time

So to start this post off, I'm going to give the blogging world this little quote. My dad sent it to me in an e-mail today, and I think it's fantastic. It's from a man who at age 77 got inducted into the World Senior Games hall of fame. (Big deal, held in St. George) Anyways, it's about running, and I totally believe every word it says. Today I went on a little 5 miler. I remember the days when 5 miles was Impossible for me, let alone improbable. Now, I am going to train for a MARATHON. That's right folks. I'm going to face my fears and do it, because my future is mine, and I'm excited.

WHY DO I RUN? 'TAIN'T NO MYSTERY--

WANNA HAVE A GOOD MEDICAL HISTORY,
DOCTOR TOLD ME RUNNIN IS GREAT--
HELPS THEM BLOOD CELLS CIRCULATE,
GREAT FOR THE LUNGS,
GREAT FOR THE TICKER,
CAN'T NOTHIN' GETCHA
IN BETTER SHAPE QUICKER,
FEELS SO HEALTHY, FEELS SO SWEET,
PUMPIN MY ARMS AND FLAPPIN' MY FEET,
MOLDIN' MY MUSCLES, FIRMIN' MY FORM,
PANTIN' LIKE A PACK MULE,
SWEATIN' UP A STORM,
KEEPS ME YOUTHFUL,
KEEPS ME LOOSE,
TIGHTENS MY TUMMY
AND SHRINKS MY CABOOSE,
BEATS BEIN' LAZY--
WHY DO I RUN? MAYBE I'M CRAZY!

Okay, so for updates. The first weekend of April, the 2nd and 3rd we went to colorado for a good little time. So we drove there at 5:30 in the A.M. and I drove. For sure it was crazy weather and I thought until the sun came out around 7 that I may just vere off the road... anyways I had to hold ten and two and it was all good. Until the drive home when I got caught speeding and 220 $ later I got home. So anyways, it was really fun to be in colorado. We drove there friday morning played 4 games and then drove home around 3 on saturday. Anyways, good times colorado. That weekend was also conference weekend and man I loved it. Conference is almost like christmas to me. I love it because I get spiritually fed in my PJ'S! This year's favorite was by Elder Donald A. Hallstrom about trials and being smart with the way you live your life. So good.

Next event was the next weekend! Okay so this one is St. Louis. It was such a great time. We had a lot of fun being in a different location. I got to be the navigator and it was fun to talk to my coach (oriah, not julie) about life and lacrosse. We flew in thursday afternoon and played a game against Lindenwood and lost to them, but shoot the game was legit. they announced the starting line up, played the national anthem and talked about the team's position and stuff. Then the next morning we went to the St. Louis arch and the union square there where this guy from "the fugery" sang us a song and shoot I felt like I was in heaven it was so cool!! (if you want more details ask me in person...) Then more games, sleep, games, plane ride home, lots of talking, laughing and screaming. Needless to say, my team was all exhausted and we had a hard time focusing and playing our hardest at practice. Tomorrow we head off to colorado again even though it's finals. This is the regional tournament and if we win both our games tomorrow, then we get a trophy AND the bid to go to nationals in may. I'm so so excited... This is why I play lacrosse. It is so fun to be around girls all the time and to travel to fun places and to play a sport that makes me love something. I dunno, that's all jumble but it is truth. It's worth it. If I've learned anything this year it is that what I do with my life is worth it because "all these things shall be for thy good and shall give thee experience."

Tonight the roommates and I went to Olive Garden for dinner and laughed a bunch about our past year. They're all saints. They put up with me even though I'm a pest and negative and don't really contribute much. I am so lucky to live with my best friends. We have had a phenominal year. We predicted who's going to get married first, when they'll get married, who'll be engaged first, who will have the most kids, and where we will all live in tenish years. We promised that each year we would get together and reminiss about the past and talk about the present and future. It made me excited for one of the first times in a long while about my future. Uncertain as it is, I'm excited. :)