Road Runner

I think the cartoon animal that is most like me is the road runner.... A, because of his speed in going everywhere and B because of the dust that he leaves behind him.

Today, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by both parts of the road runner.

I've been so busy since january, it's been a whirlwind of activities. I was busy with school (homework and studying), family (birthdays and sunday dinners etc.), dating (surprisingly a lot my second semester, but to no avail... no one i've really been interested in), and especially lacrosse. This years lacrosse season was a whirlwind of it's own. I've been back and forth so many times about what i want to do with lacrosse next year because of various experiences this year with coaches, fundraising, comments from team members and limited playing time in practice and games. But... after this last week I know I need to play again next year. We went to the national tournament in Scottsdale AZ

It was a great opportunity to be with the team and learn a lot about what lacrosse can be for my team. We have so much to improve on next year, and i will be more of a leader then an underdog (hopefully) so I think I'll enjoy it more. Plus, I get to be around girls who are so much fun and great friends, and be physically active, and also to be able to travel around places. It's so unique, and it is a big part of who i am. I don't think I'd be content with giving it up. Thanks to mom and dad for their support of me throughout all my crazy decisions. Also thanks Katie and Karin for coming to AZ to support the team and me. You're the best. :)

Anyways, School started up again last week and I'm stressed which i shouldn't have to be, but i am because it's a 7 week semester with only 3 class periods and already I have midterms. I just wonder... why don't I ever take it easy? Usually it just makes me stressed and not as happy as I possibly could be. O well...

As far as the dust part, lately I've been feeling like I'm getting left behind in the dust of what everyone else is doing. People are going on to bigger and better things, and what am I doing? I feel as if I'm again in limbo... a hard place to be in that I remember being in my senior year around this time. I'm just so unsure of everything, while it seems as if everyone around me is sure of everything. I KNOW THIS isn't the case, but sometimes it feels that way. I think if I lived around a different culture then mormons and BYU i'd feel differently. I'd feel more normal about just working and hanging out all summer instead of planning for a mission, wedding, or internship somewhere. I KNOW I have an amazing life, I just wish I could have my crystal ball today and not have to wait till heaven to see into it.

No worries, I'll be over all this by morning, but it feels good to get it off my mind.

DONE!!!!!

Ah, what a fantastic feeling. No more homework or tests for...

a week because I'm doing spring semester. I'm retarded. ha!

O well! I will still celebrate!

Catch - Up time

So to start this post off, I'm going to give the blogging world this little quote. My dad sent it to me in an e-mail today, and I think it's fantastic. It's from a man who at age 77 got inducted into the World Senior Games hall of fame. (Big deal, held in St. George) Anyways, it's about running, and I totally believe every word it says. Today I went on a little 5 miler. I remember the days when 5 miles was Impossible for me, let alone improbable. Now, I am going to train for a MARATHON. That's right folks. I'm going to face my fears and do it, because my future is mine, and I'm excited.

WHY DO I RUN? 'TAIN'T NO MYSTERY--

WANNA HAVE A GOOD MEDICAL HISTORY,
DOCTOR TOLD ME RUNNIN IS GREAT--
HELPS THEM BLOOD CELLS CIRCULATE,
GREAT FOR THE LUNGS,
GREAT FOR THE TICKER,
CAN'T NOTHIN' GETCHA
IN BETTER SHAPE QUICKER,
FEELS SO HEALTHY, FEELS SO SWEET,
PUMPIN MY ARMS AND FLAPPIN' MY FEET,
MOLDIN' MY MUSCLES, FIRMIN' MY FORM,
PANTIN' LIKE A PACK MULE,
SWEATIN' UP A STORM,
KEEPS ME YOUTHFUL,
KEEPS ME LOOSE,
TIGHTENS MY TUMMY
AND SHRINKS MY CABOOSE,
BEATS BEIN' LAZY--
WHY DO I RUN? MAYBE I'M CRAZY!

Okay, so for updates. The first weekend of April, the 2nd and 3rd we went to colorado for a good little time. So we drove there at 5:30 in the A.M. and I drove. For sure it was crazy weather and I thought until the sun came out around 7 that I may just vere off the road... anyways I had to hold ten and two and it was all good. Until the drive home when I got caught speeding and 220 $ later I got home. So anyways, it was really fun to be in colorado. We drove there friday morning played 4 games and then drove home around 3 on saturday. Anyways, good times colorado. That weekend was also conference weekend and man I loved it. Conference is almost like christmas to me. I love it because I get spiritually fed in my PJ'S! This year's favorite was by Elder Donald A. Hallstrom about trials and being smart with the way you live your life. So good.

Next event was the next weekend! Okay so this one is St. Louis. It was such a great time. We had a lot of fun being in a different location. I got to be the navigator and it was fun to talk to my coach (oriah, not julie) about life and lacrosse. We flew in thursday afternoon and played a game against Lindenwood and lost to them, but shoot the game was legit. they announced the starting line up, played the national anthem and talked about the team's position and stuff. Then the next morning we went to the St. Louis arch and the union square there where this guy from "the fugery" sang us a song and shoot I felt like I was in heaven it was so cool!! (if you want more details ask me in person...) Then more games, sleep, games, plane ride home, lots of talking, laughing and screaming. Needless to say, my team was all exhausted and we had a hard time focusing and playing our hardest at practice. Tomorrow we head off to colorado again even though it's finals. This is the regional tournament and if we win both our games tomorrow, then we get a trophy AND the bid to go to nationals in may. I'm so so excited... This is why I play lacrosse. It is so fun to be around girls all the time and to travel to fun places and to play a sport that makes me love something. I dunno, that's all jumble but it is truth. It's worth it. If I've learned anything this year it is that what I do with my life is worth it because "all these things shall be for thy good and shall give thee experience."

Tonight the roommates and I went to Olive Garden for dinner and laughed a bunch about our past year. They're all saints. They put up with me even though I'm a pest and negative and don't really contribute much. I am so lucky to live with my best friends. We have had a phenominal year. We predicted who's going to get married first, when they'll get married, who'll be engaged first, who will have the most kids, and where we will all live in tenish years. We promised that each year we would get together and reminiss about the past and talk about the present and future. It made me excited for one of the first times in a long while about my future. Uncertain as it is, I'm excited. :)

How do people do it?

Sometimes I wonder how people keep everything under the radar... how they can seem (or maybe even just are) so perfect all the time. It seems they never get mad or frustrated with anything.

Right now is finals time, and I HATE when the time that I've set aside for studying or what not gets disrupted.

Tonight, my favorite show on television had its very last episode ever... It makes me sad because it ended horribly with Betty not ending up with a guy at all, moving away from her family, the two gay guys still being gay, the mean lady getting the business and her man, and so many other things ended "wrong" that I just was not happy with it. But even more then that, while trying to relish in the last few moments I had with my show, 4 people came in (uninvited) and chatted up a storm. It made me upset... obviously. I just wonder, if my generation is this inconsiderate, what are my children going to be like?

I am stressed. I know it. I have to figure out a lot of things, and secretly my heart is breaking a little bit each time I don't get mail, I hear about another friend of mine who is happily engaged (or soon to be), each time I hear that a family member is sad, each time I fear the future, each time I find out that grades are not as I thought they were going to be etc. This time of life is just really hard sometimes.

I'm so grateful for the gospel and the things it teaches. Because of my hard night tonight I read my favorite scripture passages, D&C 121-123 and they game me comfort and strength. If Joseph, Job, and especially Christ suffered through ALL that stuff, my stuff is nothing at all. Really in the scope of things, my turn on earth is really just an hour or so... but shoot, what a tough hour sometimes. O well. Tomorrow is another day.

P.S. I have a bunch of stuff to blog about and catch up on, and I started to do that last night and have been saving it all day, but one of those uninvited guests of ours got on my computer and exited out of my screen so I'll try again later.

Indulging

I think that sometimes, I don't indulge enough. I should

- re-live good memories

- love the little things

- laugh hard... then harder

- cling to my families love

- re-watch good parts in movies

- enjoy school, work, and dating

- love my food and drink

- feel blessed for what relationships I have

- cherish more the gospel

- love

Who's with me? :)

Fiddler On The Roof

"Blessings on your house, Mazeltoff Mazeltoff..."

Okay, so I'd never seen Fiddler On the Roof before, but wow was I impressed. I went to see it on saturday night with my family. It was such a good time, and Hale Center Theater did such a great production/rendition of it. I love the motto of the musical. It's all about being happy with the events that transpire in your life, no matter how hard they are for you to go through. Now, as we all know, that's pretty much the motto of my life, so this really did strike a chord with me.

For those of you who haven't ever seen it, let me just summarize what happens...

It's set during the time of the Russian Revolution in this Jewish town called Anatevka. This town is not a wealthy place, and most of the residents just barely get by on their jack of trades (for example, there's a rabbi, a butcher, a taylor, and the main character is a milk man). Well, needless to say Tevya, the main dude, has 5 daughters, all very amiable girls, but with no dowry to recommend them to any men, they have a matchmaker put them together with their future spouses. This doesn't settle well with Tevya's daughters, and the oldest three end up braking from tradition and marrying whom they love! Then the cutest of ever songs, "Do you love me" sung by Tevya and his wife Golde, makes them question how they actually did fall in love after 25 years of living together as a married couple. Thoughout all of this they experience many trials, and eventually get pushed out of their beautiful town with very little notice... Much like my ancestors the pioneers did.

Pretty much this just made me think, wow, I'm so lucky. I get to choose who I want to marry, what I want to do with my life, how I will eventually be successful etc. I did take in most of all Tevya's attitude. He is always talking with God about the events in his life, both good and bad, and mulling over each decision with God. I think that I need to do more of this in my life. I come to my father in heaven in the mornings and at night, but I need to do it more often. I also loved how Tevya makes a joke out of almost everything that happens, as to make it light hearted and keep him and his surroundings peaceful/happy. I dunno, it just makes you think.

I highly recommend watching this musical, or even going to it at Hale Center Theater. It's fantastic.

Pictures of the haps lately

Love this picture. My team

is da bomb... and these are some

of my favorites.

Team picture!

Me and the girls at Hannah's ballet recital

Erik Andersen (my home teacher) and I at skate your heart out... like the outfits?

Kelly and ward friends and teammates at skate your heart out.

Updates

FIRST OFF... yesterday... I saw....

Crazy right? I got locked out of an entrance to the field, so grudgingly I persevered to the other side of the field, and fate happened. I was just walking near the entrance to the athletic building at Westminister college, and Hello John. I smiled awkwardly at him and so did he at me, and that was that. WHY DIDN'T I SHAKE HIS HAND??? I dunno. I guess I was stunned and didn't really realize who it was until he was gone. But still, freak out I did as I entered the field and bragged about it to my teammates. I think it was also fate that because of this meeting with him yesterday, my boys won their game. They are currently ranked 3rd in the Hollinger power rankings on espn, and are tied for 4th in the western conference. Lets hope they either stay there or go ahead because they sure need to make it to the western conference finals. I need my basketball to last as long as it can. :)

Other updates...

My team played in a tournament yesterday against CSU, Wyoming, and Air Force. CSU is our rivals, our Jordan if you will... they are such a hard team for us to get around for some reason. No one on my team has ever played a game against them where we won. BUT. Yesterday all that changed. We beat them 5-6 and it was a fight all the way to the end. One of the girls on my team had a red card called on the player who slashed her on the head, giving her a nice little gash that took her (having had 4 points in this vital game) out for the rest of the tournament. What a time. Then it was Wyoming who we beat by a lot and Air Force who we beat 21 (ish) to 0. Sounds ruthless right? But we played so horribly against Wyoming that we had to make up for it. It was a good day followed by a dinner with my high school girlfriends that was way fun and an early bedtime for me! Perfect day I'd say. Except for one thing. I had been feeling very odd about something all day. Something was just off... I was nervous and feeling nauseous, but not because of the games, but something else that I couldn't put a pin on. I thought that going to bed early would help that, but I'm not sure. I think part of it was that I do not want to go back to school and have to face yet another test. Last week my two hardest classes had exams, one was a final. The final went okay, I didn't fail, but I didn't excel either. And the exam went poorly for everyone, so he said he'd add on 10-15 points to our scores and therefore I ended out doing pretty good on that one. It is just so stressful this school thing, but o well. I choose to come here. :)

Another reason I think is that I was feeling uneasy about some man struggles, which if you want info on you should come to me, but I am just anxious to know what's going on in everyone's heads. I think that it would be awesome sometime to have a crystal ball just waiting for me to look into and know what my future would be. :)

I thought also maybe a reason I'm feeling weird is all of the housing struggles we've been going through. I love where we live because the people are great and I love my roommates so no matter where we end up it will be something good. I am just hoping that it isn't somewhere were I have to pay a lot of money. I am pretty positive we'll be living in the riviera again, but o well. I'm not in control of that.

The last thing I think is that I'm worried about someone close to me dying. I know this is a horrible thought to have, but I have been reading a lot about people dying and getting into serious substances etc that get them addicted and pulled speedily down the path of destruction. I do not like thinking this way, but it is what it is I guess. I hope that it will pass, and that if something like this did happen, I'd be able to help out as much as i could. Maybe I'm being prepared for a hard trial... I dunno. I'm just anxious.

The last last thing is that I have no idea what I'm going to be doing with my summer. I still haven't heard back from EFY yet, and I don't know if I'll be living down here in the spring going to school or if I'll be in sandy or what. I don't have another job (besides bath and body) to go to and I don't really want to just sit around and not be productive either. I would LOVE it if I could just hear back from EFY and therefore figure out my life. ha! It's been almost 6 weeks since I interviewed.

I'm so glad that I have a testimony of the Savior. I know that all will be well and that I need to just trust in him and in my father in heaven.

I do really want to give my mom and Katie a little shout out for helping me de-stress this weekend. I REALLY appreciate it and love you both.