The one that stuck

So... this week it happened. Jeff Handy left on his mission... for two years I wont be able to see him! I had to say goodbye to him on monday night... And who knew how hard it would be for me. It seems that I just haven't been able to get that boy off my mind since we dated a year ago. I just felt like we were always off and that I was just letting time and things pass through my fingers. He's one of my best buddies and I'm going to miss being able to talk to him and take him places with me like church stuff or date stuff. Even after we broke up it was never awkward enough between us to not be friends. When we said goodbye this last week I just went right up to him and gave him a big bear hug and we just talked about life for a little while like nothin was up... then it came to be about an hour longer then I thought and I needed to let him be with his family. He walked me out to my car for one last time and gave me another big bear hug... I looked up at him and said good luck and write me every week etc. etc. and we shed some tears and walked away waving until we couldn't see each other any more. I think on his fun personality often and I will keep him in my thoughts and prayers and letters while he is gone... His family is so cute... they feel like a part of my family and we just all are supporting each other. They even brought me a back to school present! Isn't that awesome? I had it easier then they did obviously.. but also because I went to bear lake with Brandi and Lindley from wednesday till friday.

O man it was one of the top 5 most fun things i've done this summer. I have had a really good time vacationing and being with people etc. but I really enjoyed this because we haven't been together the three of us since like my junior year, so it was SO nice to be able to spend some time in each others company just talking and laughing together like no time had passed at all. We caught up on what was going on with each person and laughed so much! We laid out, we played lacrosse, we played on the jet ski's (which was the best part and a surprise from Monet.... :)) While we were on the jet ski's we decided it would be awesome if all three of us road the smaller one together... so we did and we flung each other of so much just because the last person would get thrown around so much so they would pull the others off... so cool. We also ate lots, watched a few movies, read stuff, and of course went boating. It was so fun to go boating and actually be able to do stuff! This is just proof to you all and to myself that I don't completely suck at wake boarding or wake surfing... fun stuff! Well that's about it... life starts for me again with school and lacrosse etc. in a week! Scary!!! But man I'm so excited. It's like a new start and I have so much hope for the year and what it will bring me. :) So next up? College time with Whitney and co. :) saweet

Grandma Clayton

This is my wonderful, beautiful, hardworking, and amazing grandmother Farrell Clayton.  She passed away on Tuesday the 4th of August peacefully in her sleep.  We are all deeply saddened by this occurrence, but she will live on in our hearts forever.  She taught me personally the importance of being a strong and devout woman.  She invested in education, and stressed the importance of getting a degree because of the uncertainty of the future.  She appreciated music more then anyone I have known, and encouraged us all to practice our talents. She would be ashamed if we let a moment pass by us in which we could share those talents with others.  She taught and raised my amazing father to be the wonderful man that he is today.  She encouraged him to take art lessons, piano, clarinet, bass guitar, sing, take debate, and so many other disciplines in life that have shaped his whole being, and by default, my families.  She always encouraged healthy eating and living a healthy lifestyle.  I remember going over to her house and the first thing she would offer us was either grapes (washed with soap :)), watermelon (freshly cut), toast (with spray butter...), chicken noodle soup, or chocolate frozen yogurt. (the woman loved her ice cream).  She loved her family more then anything in the world, and was always so proud of us no matter what the circumstance.  

I will miss all these things about my grandmother, but I will never forget her legacy.  She left me a lot of things to live up to, and I want in every moment to make her proud.  

Thank you Grandma for all you did for us, and for your continual support and love for each of us.  We love you!  I will miss you. 

It's not too often...

...that I find myself absolutely grateful for my life!  I mean, I've always been appreciative of opportunities and blessings, but not really for life!  I'm always down on myself for my body, or what I've been eating, or why things with friends seem off or whatever else vain you could think of because I am more then a tad selfish... but this last weekend I have found myself so so excited for the future.   

     This summer has been one of hope and excitement for me future.  I've been working in the hospital trying to figure out what it is that I want to do with the rest of my life... right... o man, it's a hard decision.  I remember when Katie was thinking about what to major in and what school to go to etc. she took so long to figure it out, and I would always say to her, 'why can't you just pray about it and understand what it is that you want to do... it's not that hard Katie... come on...' etc etc.  I always thought that I would be a nutrition major... but not anymore (as you all know...)  I've often thought about becoming a nurse... I love teenagers... I love their attitudes and their excitements.  I've always connected well with them and been able somehow, to tell them what they need to hear (even though it's usually for myself just as much as it is for them ha ha...)  So what do I choose?  I know I'll do health... but do I want to do health education? (where I could teach health, coach a team, teach aerobics...)  or exercise and something? (in which I would become a trainer or go on to med school something)  Health promotion? (in which I would travel and help people become educated)  So many options.  Now what to do???  (advice accepted here...)  I think that health education feels the most right for me, but I love input! 

     I've also learned this summer that good friendships are so so important to me.  It is a unique thing to have someone in your life in whom you can trust with anything (outside your family)... but I'm ultra lucky!!! I have more then one person that I can go to.  God blessed me with knowing these people because he knew that I wouldn't be able to handle this time of my life without them.  (you know who you are. :))

    And possibly the last thing i've learned this summer is how important sundays and sunday meetings and church and the gospel is.  I have not been to church very much, and when I have gone, i've missed a lot of the hours in sunday school and relief society.  I feel such a difference in my week and in my life in general when I don't attend all of my church meetings, or any of church at all.  I love my father in heaven, and I regret the decision to take a job that had me work on sundays, but it also has taught me this lesson, and the ones written before it.

    So anyways... I want to say yet again, thank you.  I am so happy and beaming inside right now because of what I can do with my life and the lives that I hope to change.  Thanks to each of you for helping to shape me and to be willing to let me be a part of your lives.  Please don't quit.  I have SO much more to learn and I never want to stop.  I'm still standing on the edge looking out into a very expansive future... and I can do whatever I want with it. 

Now that is awesome.

And believe me when I say, 

I have hope. 

July...

    I have been so busy this month... I finally have like ten min to blog about my adventures this month.  

    As you've already read or know, I spend 4 days in Liberty Missouri visiting my great friend Whitney and her family there.  I could not have picked a better place to vacation!  Missouri is BEAUTIFUL.  Everywhere is lush and open.  It is much different from Utah in that the communities in Utah are close together and don't usually sit on large achers of land.  In Missouri the houses are pointed up like triangles, (because of tornadoes?  We couldn't decide)... where as in Utah the roofs are more like a trapizoid.  They have rain storms that are so cool looking and kinda scary ha ha, but way more intense then anything we see in Utah. Anyway, those are some fun facts about Missouri!  

    I landed saturday afternoon around 2 (1 in utah) p.m. and Whitney was waiting right outside the gate for me!  The airport in KC is way easy to check into and get out of and it's just like it used to be in the old days... (for more info on that just hala and I can explain better... ha) Anyways, we went on a nice drive to see the different places in KC and stopped at a sonic to get hamburgers in a place called Smithfield.  It was the biggest burger I'd ever eaten... as in 2 the size of the ones that are normally served.  It was awesome.  Then we went boating in Smithfield lake and it was warm and wavy and so much fun!  We took the seedoos everywhere and tubed behind them and it was just great fun, and a good way to be welcomed into the place that Whitney calls home. 

    Sunday was bomb-tastic.  We woke up fairly early and drove to Adam Ondi Omen.  Don't worry, there was a crazy storm going on outside, and we drove through it and stuff.  Adam Ondi Omen was the most amazing sight I had ever seen. I was overcome with feelings of peace and tranquility.  It was only slightly raining when we got there and it was just me and whitney there... no one was around.  I can't express in words the beauty of the place, and the peace that it brought to my soul.  I needed the comfort of the holy ghost and a stronger belief in Gods plan for me. After this we went through jamestown (or port?) and it was a little omish town and we saw horse and buggies and the whole deal... it was weird to me to not see any driveways and outhouses in the back of yards etc.  Neat stuff.   Then we went to Far West on our way back to church, and saw the grounds that were laid out for a temple there.  It was beautiful, and I found out that my great great great (I think that many greats) grandpa was born in far west.  We then had dinner with some friends of the neilsens and went to see liberty jail (pictured here.)  After that we played with Ryan, Whitney's boyfriend,'s parents house and played games with them and his grandparents for like 3 hours!  It was so much fun, and definitely I got a good insight from Heavenly Father as to what I need in the family I marry into... they were so great. 

    Monday we got to sleep in a little and went shopping and saw the best of downtown KC.  We went to this place called the Plaza which is like this cute shopping center in downtown KC.  There were fountains places and we went shopping in anthropology and it was just fun.  then after that we went to arthur bryants barbeque which is this world famous bbq place!  It was delish!  Then we went to a real live authentic jazz club called the blue room.  The history of that place is faciating and we had a good time listening the the jazz music in there.  

    Tuesday we went to this cute bakery for breakfast and I kinda got sick to my stomach but after a nap and some drugs I felt better... so then we went swimming with some of Whitney's friends from highschool and ate lunch with these girls.  It was so fun for me to get to know her friends cuz it was like getting to know her life a little better and understand all the stories that she had told me.  After this we took showers and went to linner at Panara bread then I came home to SLC.  So it was a really busy really fantastic weekend with my great friend.  We had some good talks and got to know each other better and I think we helped each other through our trials to face them head on and understand life... a little better... :) 

    This last week we had our family stay-cation vacation.  We went and got pedicures on monday, then went to the days of 47 rodeo with my friends lindley and matt and the handy family.  It was fun! (pictures here...) 

 

    Tuesday was KK's birthday and we went and got french toast at haggermens then went to raging waters for the day (which is still fun btw) and then got dinner and watched psych after opening presents.  She had one special day. :) 

    Wednesday we slept in and then went to the Garff Ranch and rode horses and drove around atv's and stuff it was a thrill.  

    Thursday was our boating day!  We went boating from like 11 till 6... long time, and it totally wore everyone out but it was so fun to see everyone do something behind the boat and to play with the little kids.  They're so great.  After boating we went to this place called Dairy Keen which is a nice little burger joint with trains everywhere.  Then we went home and cleaned the boat etc. 

    Friday was my dad's birthday and the days of 47 parade, so we stayed home and my mom and him enjoyed the parade together.  We then went shooting by utah lake and blew our eardrums to pieces.  It was fun though.  We had a barbeque and presents and swimming at the Zimmermans house to celebrate then presents afterwards with just the single kids.  Good times. 

    That was our crazy week and who knew Utah could be so much fun eh? I'm so grateful to be in a family that is this wonderful.  I love them all so much!  It was a great excuse to spend every minute together and I miss them already.  

    The other excitement sort of thing is that I'm building up important relationships and saying goodbye to some of my best guy friends on their missions and sadly all of them will be gone in no time at all.  I'm proud of all my guy friends but it's hard to say goodbye and face life without them there... you know?  

Wish us all luck on this long and exciting journey called life!! 

Harry Potter and Life

So... another insight.  You ready?? 

So I'm reading harry potter 7 for the second time because I completely forgot about the contents of the book.  It has been really fun for me to have something to read after my long days at work and during my workouts at the gym.  So I'm reading tonight and I get this incredible insight.  Harry is always debating with himself about what to do on each incredible instance that he is faced with.  He either has to choose between what is good, and what is easy.  Now, naturally Harry sees instant gratification and 'answers' within the easy choice (the enticings of Voldemort).  Then we look at Dumbledor who always knows what harry must do, and guides him even while he is no longer physically present with him.  Hum... is this familiar? Interesting??? Harry therefore is the character everyone can relate to. He is us, and the characters surrounding him are (in my mind) like Heavenly Father and Satan and the people that Heavenly Father placed around us to help us, guide us, and protect us.  Like president Kimball used to say, "God sends angels to people on earth through others"... like our friends.  People who save us when we feel like all hope is lost.  Here in Harry Potter 7 is an example of this... 

   "The chain of the horcrux had tightened and was slowly constricting his windpipe. (aka, Satan and how he slowly gets at you... then 'snap' you're choking in sin.)... He was going to drown, there was nothing left, nothing he could do, and the arms that closed around his chest were surely death's... choking and retching, soaking and colder than he had ever been in his life, he came to face down in the snow.  Somewhere close by, another person was panting and coughing and staggering around.  Hermione had come again, as she had come when the snake attacked... yet it did not sound like her... the place where the locket had cut tightly into his flesh was gone.  someone had cut him free... there before him stood Ron, fully dressed and drenched to the skin, his hair plastered to his face, the sword of gryffindor in one hand and the horcrux dangling from its broken chain in the other." 

O how much this simple paragraph from Harry Potter reminds me of my good friends and family.  They seem to know when I need them and they pull me out of a dilapidated state and into a better one.  Being there for me just to vent, or to hug, or to text, or to go to the gym with or whatever.  Each one of you has saved me.  As it says in D&C 121:9 'thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands'.  My friends... I do stand by you in whatever you do and will love you no matter what challenges and trials you face.  Feelings of loneliness and despair are feelings I'm very familiar with, and that Jesus Christ's atonement can help you overcome.  

I take for granted all the amazing things I am privy to in my life. I tend to focus mostly on my flaws, and concentrate on how to better myself, thinking that if I can just do this or that, maybe more happiness will come to me.  But this is not how we become happy.  We need to submerge ourselves in the work, and surround ourselves with good people.  We can not let our individual Satan lockets hobble and hang around our necks until eventually they grab hold of us and take over our lives. 

I guess the main theme of this is that I LOVE the strength and steadiness and always loving hands of my father in heaven, Jesus Christ, my good friends and my beautiful family.  I am so so lucky.  :) 

  

P.S. Please don't get offended by the comparisons I made.  I don't think this was J.K. Rowling's intention, but just an insight I gained tonight as i was pondering (yet again) my life. :) 

Twenty Days

   Well my friends, it's been twenty days since I've blogged... want to know why?  I've not done too much since then... 

  Exciting things that have happened? 

     1.) I ran a ten mile race on the 13th... that was really fun!  I decided the week before that I would do it... and I totally didn't train for it... and my body I swear is still sore... ha!  It was so fun though and it was really good to get me doing a good work out.  I have been super lazy lately... but it's weird cuz I feel like my anemia or something is coming back cuz I'm so tired all the time... lets hope that's not the case! 

      2.)  I went boating with my buddies last friday and it was really fun to get together with my high school friends and be out in the sunshine on a lake!  I miss boating and friends.  It was a good day... 

     3.) I played in a lacrosse tournament thing with my BYU team this last weekend (same day as I went boating and that next day... saturday)  

    - It was so so good to see all my teammates again.  I miss seeing them and playing with them and laughing with (at) them... :)  

    4.) Danielle gave my number to a random boy in her ward to text me and we have been communicating by texting the last few days... Needless to say that's sad that that's a improvement in my life... ha! 

That's really about it.  I'm working at Alta View and finished my swimming lessons for the summer this week (today) except for my sister Kim's kids. My alta view job is going to change to a ten hour shift three times a week so I will hate life pretty much... I'm so not excited!  I've been totally off my game with exercising and sadly that's throwing off my whole life! 

 We switched to AT&T two weeks ago so now I am sportin the blackberry pearl... pink flava.  It's cute and I like how awesome the texting and internet stuff is on it.... but i do miss verizon cuz all my buds were on that network. (cept whit... seriously it was crazy pants)  

   I have been missing church, gaining weight (I swear... it's RE-DICK-A-LOUS) and missing my friends being around me.  I am glad to have everyone be home again and to have SYTYCD on during the summer cuz that makes me happy.  

  I guess that I'm just at that weird summer stage where I'm trying to be good about things, but sadly the summer I was hoping for is not working out.  I am going to start going to institute next week and I will also be better about making time for the lord and the gospel.  I know that this will bring me great happiness and I need to be better about it.  

It's kinda like I'm starting over for the fourth time this summer.  Middle school, High school, college, and now whatever this place is that I'm entering... where my guy friends are ALL gone, my girlfriends are moved away for the summer (not all of them... but most it seems...) people I've grown up with are getting married and having babies, and my family and I are just getting through the days trying to stay positive.  

Life really is good.  And I'm so lucky to be healthy, active, have a strong healthy family, have education and the gospel, have the advances of technology to keep me easily in contact with my friends, and have my parents taking care of me practically this summer.  I need to keep these things in mind instead of the stupid things that seem to ALWAYS be on my mind.  

Blast being a woman. ;) 

Love... Is not an easy thing... (song.)

Nuf Said. 

   We should all have a guide to love.  This is what it is... this is what it isn't... this is what I want it to be... but blah blah blah.  I need a road map.  Here you'll find a mistake of a guy that will make you learn what you need in your last find... prince charming.  I'm 19 and it's summer and I'm finally starting to feel that loneliness of not having been interested in a guy for a year... yeah... I'm rediculous.  Writing this all out on my blog is a desperate cry for help.  but... I would like some. HAHA.... anyways. I am only 19 though.  I have so so so so much more living to do. :)

Nuf Said. 

O that time of the year.

                        Congrats. Summer is here. 

    Reasons I feel this way... 

1. Swimming lessons started for me this week.  That's how I know it is the time of year for pools and children and fun. O the joys. :)

2. SUNBURNED body. I couldn't sleep last night on my back because it was so reddened from the sun.  

3. I'm working out outside instead of at the gym. I LOVE THE WARMNESS OF 8 IN THE MORNING. Perfect running weather. 

4. There are children and teenagers wherever I go. This one I don't love so much. 

5. I can go to bed whenever I want to and pretty much wake up whenever I want to before 9 because that's when I teach lessons ha ha ha. Last night I went to be at 10:30... I haven't done that since I ran a 10k last summer. It felt good. 

6. It's race time. I ran a family 5k with my family this last weekend.  It was like a celebration for my birthday and all the fam. came to be with me. It was wonderful and I think everyone had a good time.  I have 3 more races before school starts and I'm so excited! 

7. My birthday just happened on sunday. It was so great, thanks to everyone who made me feel special. 

8. My family just seems to be more happy and willing to do things. It's so wonderful. 

                   (this picture is titled kelsey playing in the sun.)

9. My nephews are taking swimming so it seems like they like me better in the summer... weird eh? 

10. My friends are getting married. engaged. whatever. So Weird but summer does make people fall in love. 

     ~Except it seems me. ha ha ha ha... just kiddin.